Essenceofamerica’s Blog

—July 4th is a national day of mourning for liberals.

—Helen Thomas, a journalist who has covered the White House since John Adams was president, put the smack down on Obama henchman Robert Gibbs for what even the left-wing press considers “pre-packaged” question-and-answer sessions during the president’s town-hall-style events.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpI4vCMTuFQ

—I like it when Gibbs laughs nervously at real questions from the press. Makes him look even more goofy.

—Obama finds the words to the Star Spangled Banner offensive. That whole “bombs bursting in air” line makes him cringe. Makes sense. You can’t expect a president who refuses to bomb another country to embrace his own country’s legacy as the one that annihilated the British during the Revolutionary War. Such understanding is beyond Obama’s pay grade.

—So what will Obama do on Independence Day this year? I’m guessing listening to patriotic American songs is out of the question, as is cooking hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill. That would be too American. Shooting fireworks also won’t work. Reminds him of bombs bursting in air.

—I wish Obama would come to my neighborhood for a game of basketball. I would flagrant-foul his skinny ass and then declare: “That’s for destroying my country, you socialist bitch!”

—One of my friendlies told me the other day I might be on Obama’s “list.” I truly hope so. Being in the company of Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Karl Rove, and CIA waterboarders would be an incredibly awesome thing.

—Liberals everywhere should be forced to watch 9-11 footage and listen to Ray Charles’ “America the Beautiful” and Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The USA” all day tomorrow. 

—If you are sincere about pissing off a liberal, erect the American flag in your front yard in time for Independence Day. If you really want to enrage one, repeat the phrase “God Bless America” at every pro-American function you attend this weekend. Go so far as to pray aloud. That would really, really make him red in the face. And it would be hilarious.

—Liberalism is a pagan religion. I wonder if throwing liberals in an olympic-size pool of holy water would cleanse them. Or would it simply have the opposite effect of drowning them? In no way do I condone the drowning of liberals. I condone waterboarding them.

—America’s problems with Iran and North Korea could be solved with two words from Obama: “Do it.” But that’s not going to happen. He has neither the intellect nor the awesomeness to pull off such an honorable feat. F—ing sissy.

—I miss George W. Nothing more assuring than having a trigger-happy Texan in charge of national security. God bless Texas (not including the 34 godless liberals who live there).

—Hey, G.W., let’s have lunch some time when I’m in the Dallas area. We can laugh about old times and reminisce about how America used to be a freedom-loving democracy. Cheney can come along. I like Cheney.

—One more thing, Mr. Bush. What do you really think about Obama? No, I mean really. I could use a good laugh.

—Congress should approve a resolution apologizing to real Americans for the election of Barack Obama as president and authorize paying reparations to those of us who voted for someone else.

—Liberals are the lesser of human beings. This is an undeniable fact. Liberals are always on the wrong side of an argument, but they don’t have the mental capacity to know it. When conservatives are wrong – which is quite rare - we acknowledge it and quickly regain our awesomeness. But we don’t like to talk about it. We don’t like to brag.

—South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford committed adultery. Big freaking deal. If he wasn’t a politician, no one would give a damn. I don’t advocate such immorality, but we all make mistakes. However, the good governor needs to shut the hell up. We don’t care how hot he thinks his mistress is and how much he wanted to bang her. That’s personal.

—With Obama the socialist/communist/facsist/Marxist running things, his supporters are justifying every move he makes and every word he says. Nothing is too socialist, un-American, or harmful for them. Raise our taxes, socialize our health care, allow threats from hostile regimes to go unchecked, turn us all into Earth-worshipping environmentalists, rape us with your radical liberalism. It’s a freaking nightmare of unending consequences. Sons-of-bitches.

—2012, you never looked so good.

—If that cap-and-trade socialist bullshit manages to reach Obama’s desk,  have a message for Congress: Go f–k youself. You aren’t going to tell me how to cool and heat my house, how much water to use in my shower, or what kind of windows and doors to use. Stay the hell out of my life, you worthless bastards.

—Hey, tree huggers: Go to hell.

—I have just completed installing my sixth underground bunker. Three are on my property, and the others are in a secure location. Not even Joe Biden could find them.