Right-Wing Extremist Views: Installment No. 18

—Bill Maher once again has labeled racist anyone who does not support Obama, exclaiming on his shitty HBO show on Friday night that “black people know who you are and they will come after you.” Thank you, jackass, for making my point that liberalism is a mental disorder.

—I don’t watch that show, of course, because Maher is full of hate and malice. But newsbusters.org does an excellent job of tracking such liberal bias and stupidity in the media. http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2012/11/03/maher-if-you-vote-romney-black-people-know-who-you-are-and-will-come

—Liberals do really think you are racist, a bigot or ignorant if you vote for anyone who is not a Democrat. For all the talking they do about equality and making every vote count, they sure act like no one should ever support a candidate who does not share their views.

—Someone at work the other day complained to me that Republicans set out to destroy Obama the moment he took office. And how is that any different than what Democrats did to George Bush for eight years?

—Oh, and Republicans have never accused Obama of “stealing” an election, although he did lie and manipulate his way into the Oval Office.

—Liberals and their state-run media have been predictably quiet on the federal government response to Sandy. While Bush was slaughtered for what happened in New Orleans after Katrina, Obama gets a pass because he’s a Democrat.

—The same applies for his non-response on Libya and the subsequent cover-up, both of which are worthy of impeachment.

—Liberals’ party line about conservatives “waging a war on women” is utterly laughable, and it assumes every woman in America believes a Republican White House would repress them. I have never seen a controversy so manufactured by Democrats than this one.

—The manufactured “war” also assumes all women are indifferent to abortion, that they’re all single mothers or will eventually be single mothers, that they all believe birth control should be covered by every insurance company in America, and that they’re all entitled to the government’s protection. Quite frankly, this whole thing is insulting to women. Hell, I am insulted for them.

—But doing stuff like this is how liberals try to win elections, sometimes successfully. While Republicans focus on righting a Democrat economy, liberals spew hate and count on people’s ignorance.

—It’s the economy, stupid. Most voters care more about working and providing for their families than what women do and don’t do with their own bodies.

—Don’t get me wrong. I hate abortion. But that’s not what this election is about. Leave it to liberals to create a crisis that doesn’t really exist.

—And how about that cheesy Obama ad comparing voting for him for the first time to a girl losing her virginity to “a great guy.” You fucking kidding me? This administration is gross — and desperate.

—By the way, if Obama was the first candidate for whom you voted, don’t you feel stupid?

—What was it that made you choose him, anyway? Were you like Chris Matthews of MSNBC, who claimed Obama gave him a tingle up his leg? Or was it his fancy clothes and teleprompter speeches? Oh, don’t tell me: His hope and change? I know it wasn’t his policies, because he had none then and he has none now.

—Joe Biden during a campaign stop last week thought he was in Iowa when he was actually in Ohio. I really do think he might have Alzheimer’s. True story.

—I’m glad the presidential debates are over. Obama always looked weak and defensive, and I was tired of seeing his ugly face and hearing his boring voice. Besides that, while Romney was calm and coherent in the final debate, The Chosen One was a constant smartass, making jokes about the U.S. Navy and acting more like he was at a backyard barbeque than in a debate.

—I’ve heard people say they are disappointed in Obama but will vote for him again because Romney has money. Doesn’t Obama have money, too? It’s humorous to see people criticize Romney for being successful, but they praise the president for accomplishing nothing before he won the White House.

—A Pew Research Center study shows MSNBC has been more biased in its election coverage than FoxNews. Shocker.

—I’m still laughing about Joe Biden’s utterly comical performance during his debate with Paul Ryan. Is this vice president serious?

—Ryan was steady and deliberate on Thursday, sharply contrasting Biden’s penchant for the ridiculous and absurd.

—You can always count on the liberal press, Obama’s precious lapdog, to spin everything under the sun to favor Obama, including Thursday’s debate. How anyone can call that a victory for Biden is just as delusional as he.

—Disrespecting your opponent by laughing at his every other word and cutting him off like a spoiled child is not a debate victory. It’s a disgrace.

—Reputable polls suggest a possible Romney-Ryan landslide. Liberal polls suggest a squeaker for Obama-Biden. I think you know which one is right.

—You know Obama is in trouble when dependably liberal states in the northeast start leaning Republican.

—Liberals are mocking Ryan’s age. Newsflash, dumbasses: Obama was 47 when he took office, which is just five years older than Ryan is now. You may want to come up with another reason to make fun of Ryan, such as the fact he is Catholic and hates baby killing. Biden, lest you forget, is also Catholic. But he doesn’t so much have a problem with baby killing.

—That means you, Bill Maher. I hope the next time you film an episode of your lousy show that’s watched by about 20,000 people in California, you trip on set and break your hip in 24 places. Douche.

—Hey, Chris Matthews, does Obama still cause your leg to tingle? Or does he make something else tingle. Sick bastard. You and MSNBC belong together.

—I have had liberal friends who married people of the opposite sex. That’s weird to me, because they talk so much about same-sex marriage and call bigots those of us who don’t believe in and support it. Wouldn’t you think if they felt so strongly about gays they would actually be gay?

—Mock my God-fearing beliefs one more time, assholes. Just one more time.

—Biden said on Thursday Iran is no closer to becoming nuclear. Mr. Vice President, you might want to get off Obama’s lap long enough to know what’s going on in the world before you accuse your opponent of making up a “bunch of stuff.”

—People talk about Michelle Obama like she’s still a novelty. I don’t see the attraction. She’s ugly as fuck.

—I wonder if the AP will do another cupcake piece on the couple when they take their last walk around the White House lawn.

—Will Obama pay higher taxes, too, if he gets his way on letting the Bush tax cuts expire? That is fine with me if he takes home less money.

—Whites were compelled to vote for Obama because he’s (half) black in 2008. They felt guilty about not voting for him. So if they vote for Romney this time, are they racists?

—Where I live, I’m hearing a lot of college students have registered to vote. That’s good and bad. The bad news is that young and dumb voters usually cast their ballots for liberals. The good news is that my state is hardcore Republican. So what I am saying is, Democrats can register all the college students they want. It won’t matter on Nov. 6.

Within the first 10 minutes of Thursday’s vice presidential debate between Joe “I can’t stop shaking my head and giggling” Biden and the calm and steady Paul Ryan, I was struck by the Obama henchman’s arrogance and willful disregard for his opponent.

But soon thereafter, I also began laughing. Biden couldn’t stay still for even three seconds. Unlike Obama’s debate with Mitt Romney the previous week in which the president simply kept looking down at the lectern and smirking at apparent nothingness, Biden often looked up toward the ceiling as if waiting for some heavenly being to come down and rescue him (or strike him, which would have been more appropriate), almost constantly interrupted Ryan when he answered the liberal moderator’s questions, and giggled, sighed or laughed every 12 seconds.

It was quite a display to watch. I might have laughed three or four times during the Obama debate last week. But on this one, I laughed during the whole thing. I’ve heard Biden say some outright dumbass things, and I’ve seen him act like a little boy who needed to be taken out back and beaten with a new rubber hose before being sent to his room to cry all night while sucking his thumb. But on Thursday, he outdid himself.

Perhaps the most memorable moment of that debate — if you can really call it that, because it was more of a slapstick comedy thanks to Biden’s penchant for acting like an asshole — was when the vice president made that hilarious “800  million billion remark.” When I realized he actually said it, I was surprised to see Ryan keep a straight face. That was a classic Biden gaffe moment, one of many he has given us over the years.

To wit:

— “You know, I’m embarrassed. Do you know the website number? I should have it in front of me and I don’t. I’m actually embarrassed.”

— “Folks, I can tell you I’ve known eight presidents, three of them intimately.”

— “If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30 percent chance we’re going to get it wrong.”

— “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

— “A three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.”

— “The next president of the United States, Barack America.”

— “Stand up, Chuck. Let em see ya.”  (To wheelchair-bound state Sen. Chuck Graham)

— “I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.”

— “You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.”

—“My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be president of the United States, I could be. I could be vice president!”

— “His mom lived in Long Island for 10 years or so. God rest her soul. And although, she’s – wait – your mom’s still, your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.”

To utter a couple of gaffes a year is probably acceptable and even excusable, but this man is a gaffe machine. What’s worse is that he just can’t help it. The moron literally isn’t as intelligent as the liberal lapdogs would have us believe. Hell, the man has said as much himself:

And let’s not forget: When Ryan told Biden on Thursday night that “I think the vice president very well knows that sometimes the words don’t come out of your mouth the right way,” Biden responded appropriately.

“I always say what I mean.”

Exactly, shit for brains. You always say what you mean, such as when you told a crowd at a campaign stop in Iowa over a week ago that “yes, we do” want to raise taxes by $1 trillion, apparently by letting the Bush tax cuts expire.

Don’t even get me started on taxes. A huge fundamental difference between Republicans and Democrats is that liberals believe they can stimulate the economy and reduce the million billion trillion gazillion trafillion deficit by forcing the wealthy to give more of their money away. Conservatives rightly believe that the economy improves when you lower taxes, especially on small businesses. Doing so means those businesses have more money to expand and create jobs, and more employed people have more disposable income. It’s a very basic concept for which Democrats have zero ability to comprehend.

But common sense is not something I have ever accused liberals of having. Just look at Biden. He was so defensive and incredibly asinine on Thursday he looked either unhinged or severely retarded . I mean, did you see those teeth?

How do you like my teeth? Obama’s got nothing on these pearly-whites! Wait. Why is Paul Ryan here?

I also laughed at Biden’s claims of what he did and didn’t know, and what was appropriate response and inappropriate response, on Libya. Here’s what I know: Four Americans died, and this administration, which is infamous for being exceedingly weak on foreign policy and national security, has done nothing — absolutely fucking nothing.

And that is a travesty, so I’ll throw this out: Impeach Obama. That’s right. Impeach the coward. With all the bullshit talk I heard about Bush lying to the nation leading up to the war in Iraq, I’ve heard nothing about holding the Obama White House accountable on Libya. It’s sickening to see how weak America looks around the world right now. Instead of bringing justice to the terrorist thugs who took innocent lives on U.S. government property, Obama is more concerned about hurting Muslims’ feelings.

That is the measure of a coward. On the other hand, I’ve never believed Obama to be anything other than yellow.

And finally, I wonder why Obama and Biden keep repeating the whole it’s-not-our-fault-things-are-like-this mantra. As Romney said during the debate last week, you’ve had four years, Mr. President. You’ve had four years to rid yourself of this so-called mess you inherited. Instead, you’ve made it far worse. Most people lose their jobs when they perform so poorly, and you deserve to lose yours.

So enjoy your last few months. I’m sure you’ll tour the world after your only term (I predicted this president would be a one-termer in 2008) and continue to apologize to foreigners for America being so exceptional and mighty. I’m sure you’ll continue to blame the previous administration for your failures and ineptitude.

That’s fine. It’s better than you doing it while you’re still in the White House.

As for people who continue to support Obama, I guess you really enjoy high unemployment, a pathetic economy, high taxes, huge government, socialized medicine, a nuclear Iran and a less safer world.

And don’t throw that bin Laden thing at me. I’m glad he’s dead, and I’m glad Obama finally gave the authorization to kill him (it’s better than Clinton giving the nod, and then rescinding it, several times when he was in office) but those SEALs did the real job. It’s not enough to save your ass, Mr. President.

Now, if you will, start packing your bags and make sure you take the dog and mother-in-law with you. Ass (the national symbol of the Democratic party).

—It’s been over a year since I’ve updated this glorious and righteous conservative blog because, in that time period, I have undergone significant changes in my life. One thing has remained constant, though: I am a Republican, and nothing will ever change that.

—I fully realize I have missed countless opportunities to mock Obama and his mindless yes-men in the past year. For that, I apologize. But unlike Obama, I take my real-life responsibilities seriously and my last priority is updating this blog just to keep you entertained.

—Having said that, I found time today over this magnificent weekend to file an update. You are most certainly welcome.

—This is not the first time I have said this, but Joe Biden is one dumb mother fucker. It is fashionable, I know, for soulless liberals to mock conservatives for their love of God and country and unborn babies, but when it comes down to it, the vice president of these United States is the most insignificant bastard in the Democratic party, next to Obama.

—I bet you’re wondering when I am going to say something about the Chick-fil-A controversy. Here’s my take: The moment a conservative speaks out about his beliefs, he is demonized and called a bigot. But let a liberal do the same, and that is considered progressive and right and good.

—I have friends of all political parties and beliefs, and I hope they always remain my friends. I do not demonize them, though, because of their beliefs. While I may disagree with them, I do not call them bigots and ignorant, except on this blog, of course.

—Seriously, I love my friends. But as far as the Hollywood type and the liberals running around this country and in the White House, may a huge fucking hole open up in the earth and swallow them into some alternative hell for liberals.

—If I met Joe Biden on the street, I would spit in his face. That guy is a loser of monumental proportions, and for liberals to defend him is quite stupid and laughable.

—At the same time, they mock Paul Ryan. Seriously, dumbasses? You’re mocking a man of integrity and service who has logical ideas and beliefs, along with a rich family history, in favor of Biden? That is what represents everything wrong and cruel in this world.

—I opposed Obama before his ill-advised rise to the White House in 2008, and I predicted he would last one term. I haven’t changed my mind.

—Speaking of the November 6 election, I am going to laugh my ass off on election night, unlike I did in 2008. That was truly a tragic and most unfortunate night for this country. I went to bed in disgust.

—Hey, young voters, unless you are supporting a candidate other than Obama this cycle, do the world — that’s right, the world — a favor and just stay on your mom’s sofa in her basement this time.

—Michelle Obama still looks like a man to me. Hell, I don’t care if she is the first lady. That bitch is disgusting.

—I haven’t heard about the first dog in a while. The mainstream media is slipping.

—Speaking of the mainstream media, I wonder how the lesser of all networks in this country, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC and CNN, are going to do with themselves when The Glorious One is defeated.

—I believe in God, marriage between one man and one woman as God intended, innocent children, and America. If you have opposing views, may you fall off a really high bridge and hit a really hard rock in a really shallow body of water.

—Sometimes, I feel deeply sorry for people who criticize others for believing in God and traditional families and unborn babies and the military and Israel and low taxes and smaller government. You have to wonder how advanced their mental retardation is that they support causes that tear apart the country the forefathers intended.

—Nancy Pelosi is still Nancy Pelosi. I have seen dogs that look better. And homeless men.

—ObamaCare. If you like that sort of thing, you’d love China.

—I’m not saying all provisions of that terrible law are bad. I like a couple of them. But it still needs to be repealed. Socialism is socialism, and all the people who died to make this country what it was before The Amateur took control of the White House will have died in vain if the liberals are successful.

—My God, those liberals are stupid. Just so, so stupid. I have seen fish more intelligent.

—Obama is scared of Ryan. He should be. Debating each other is one thing — and Ryan would kick Obama’s ass in such a forum — but I’d like to see that underweight president in a boxing ring with the more in-shape and intelligent Ryan. Hell, put Obama on a basketball court with me, just me, and we’ll see who comes out on top. I’ll give you three guesses on who wins that one, but you’re only going to need one.

—I like Mitt Romney, and everything he represents. He is the opposite of The Great Hope-and-Change President, and I love that.

—On the night of November 6, I’m going to party like it’s 1999 before calling all my liberal friends and laugh at them hysterically until they get mad, curse me, hang up the phone, and then curl into a fetal position for a week while sobbing, “Obama! No! Why! Why couldn’t we get four more years?”

—I can answer that question, by the way. You didn’t get four more years because Obama is just a man — a half-black man who won the presidency with his looks, fancy suits, properly-working teleprompters, and lies. You can fool most of the people most of the time, but when your promises of healing the earth and making friends with everyone in the world fall through, you’re asking for trouble.

—Back to community organizing in Chicago you go, Mr. President. Maybe you and Jeremiah Wright can make up and be friends again. You could even move in together.

—That Republican National Convention rocked. It just rocked. Now for the Democratic National Convention. What you can expect: the mainstream media lapdogs, the Hollywood elites who hate anyone and everything that do not fall into place with their beliefs, liberals who think it’s hilarious to mock people who believe in God and their own country, and Biden. Yeah, that should be exciting.

—I hope you like paying high taxes and being unemployed. Because you’re going to get four more years of that if Obama’s lies succeed and voters’ intelligence has further eroded since 2008.

—I’m not really an extremist. If you’re reading this glorious blog for the first time, you must understand that “Right-Wing Extremist Views” is a mockery of Obama’s obsession with and paranoia of conservatives. You’re welcome.

—On the other hand, I very much dislike liberals. I’m neither obsessed with them nor fear them. I just don’t freaking like them under any circumstance whatsoever.

—I apologize for not posting lately. I’ve been working my ass off. That’s what Republicans do. We work.

—I was quite bored with all the debt talk. Then, when S&P downgraded the U.S. economy from AAA to AA+, I laughed out loud: “Obama, you dumbass!”

—Make no mistake: This is Obama’s economy. No longer can he blame it on Bush and the GOP.

—And what’s great about that is when a Republican wins the White House in 2012, the president-elect can talk ad nauseum about “inheriting this economy,” taking a page from liberals’ playbook.

—Stupid liberals.

—You’re probably asking yourself why I talk so much about liberals. It’s simple: They run amok in Washington, control the mainstream media, kill unborn babies, invent global warming, manufacture crises, force homosexual marriage down the throats of God-fearing people, and hug trees. You need more reasons?

—Okay. Here’s another: They’re retarded.

—I still try like hell to keep up with the news so I won’t miss an opportunity to laugh at Obama and his evil followers. But damn it, I have to also work like hell right now to pay my portion of the national debt.

—I’m with Dennis Miller on this one: If we actually owe somebody that money, fuck em. We just won’t pay it.

—Elect me to the White House in 2012, and I guarantee the national debt will be wiped out in about 16 minutes.

—As president, I would also promise the largest military build-up in American history. Fuck that. It would be the largest military build-up in the history of THE WORLD.

—Then I would use it to destroy our enemies.

—Ever notice how big the moon appears in the night sky sometimes? Me, too. What does that mean? Shit, not a damn thing. I just wanted to put that out there.

—That recall of Republicans in Wisconsin didn’t go so well. When are these liberal pricks gonna realize people prefer Republicans to Democrats — except in San Francisco and New York?

—Oh, San Francisco. You filthy bastards. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Another Earth Day has arrived. This is when a bunch of tree-hugging dumbasses get together and commemorate their lasting idolization of our planet.

For everyone else, it’s just another day.  For God-fearing people, it’s another blessed day to worship the Creator instead of the created.

That’s what separates the good from the stupid. People who love God are good. Those who love the Earth are stupid. Don’t get me wrong: God gave us the Earth to enjoy – but not to adore. Trees are to be chopped down and used for stuff like paper and buildings. Natural resources exist for consumption – not preservation. And animals are to be slaughtered for their meat.

Soon after I woke up this morning, I tossed an oversized load of clothes into my washing machine and took pleasure in listening to it work so hard to get my kids’ garments clean. I’m guessing I used several gallons of water and probably some not-so-environmental-friendly detergent. In a few minutes, I’ll transfer the load to my dryer and use even more energy. Warm air and lint will escape through the dryer vent and eventually be released into the atmosphere, contributing to that stupid global-warming theory Al Gore invented.

Today is a normal day for me. I’ll keep my big-screen TV on for most of the day, my AC will drop below 72 degrees, every ceiling fan in my house will run all day and, at some point, every light will be turned on. Of course, I’ll also let the water run while I brush my teeth, I’ll use far too much water while rinsing dishes before placing them in the dishwasher, and I’ll let my kids hold the refrigerator door open too long.

For me, this is all about living life to the fullest: Using as much energy as I want without considering the false consequences created by evil Earth worshippers.

Other than wishing that these people didn’t even exist, I kinda long for the Old Testament days of God’s wrath, when fire and rock fell from the sky to punish idolaters.

No matter. It’s coming one day, and the very Earth these ass clowns worship will consume them with fury. Stupid people.

—Someone walked into my office this morning and asked if I had watched Obama’s televised address on Libya. I thought this person knew me better than that.

—Obama said school kids are bored by tests. Okay. Let’s just eliminate testing altogether and let a bunch of dumb shits run around the country messing everything up. Can’t be much worse than letting Obama run America.

—Joe Biden and his henchmen threw a reporter in a closet during a Florida fundraiser the other day because they felt threatened by his questions. I don’t know what’s worse: That reporter staying in that closet all night out of fear or Biden’s people actually putting him in there.

—If that were me at that fundraiser, I would have screamed out, “Long live George W. Bush!” and knocked over all the liberals in the house before hitting them in the face.

—-You would think this Biden guy would just stay in a corner somewhere and keep his mouth shut. Every time he says or does something, he makes an ass of himself, which is appropriate because the national mascot of Democrats is a donkey.

—-My god. A damn donkey.

—All it takes to be a liberal is to hate babies, love gays, and despise America. Are you a liberal?

—I hate liberals.

—Obama still doesn’t know what he’s doing on Libya. He calls the madman over there a “tyrrant,” and then proceeds to say he has no desire to kill him. See, that’s the difference between he and Bush. G.W. would have wasted no time in sending in elite forces to kill that evil fuck. Obama, on the other hand, is incapable of doing anything so damn righteous and awesome. That pansy.

—If you hate a conservative, then fuck you.

—Let’s assume you’re a liberal. Why?

—Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to mock your retardation. Liberalism is merely a disorder of the brain, and I shouldn’t make light of it.